In honor of Grandma
Have you ever lost something that was precious to you? Or that you used often? Like your phone perhaps. When I misplace that necessary piece of my life, I go to all lengths to find it. Where did I have it last? Hey can one of you kids call my phone?? Shhhhh....listen...maybe I left it on stun?? I really hope I didn't have the sound off? When said lost item is rediscovered, it's usually with a big ol' smile and exhalation of relief. And your day can go on.
Oh that it were so easy with all kinds of loss. I recently lost my 95 year old Grandma. Now this woman was not just any kind of Grandma. She LOVED being MY Grandma. I remember while growing up she had a special end table that was filled with all sorts of fun things to do. A jar of pennies. A muffin tin. A container of buttons. Puzzles. Books. Blocks. That little tupperware bus that picked up different shaped blocks when you drove over them. My Grandma and Grandpa lived about 2 blocks away from us when I was about 5. So much fun!! We didn't have a TV, but they did. If we got all our chores done, the three of us kids could walk over to their house and watch Walt Disney on Sunday nights, Little House on Mondays, and The Walton's on Thursdays. When my parents had to be out of town, us kids got to stay with Grandma and Grandpa. This was cause for excitement on so many levels! For starters, no meal was complete without JUICE. Yes. Grandma had little green glasses that were carefully set at each place for meals. And in the morning we got orange juice! And a little pot of jam for our toast. Grandma's table was crammed full of little pots of nuts, raisins, all manner of delicacies!
Also, Grandpa would have worship every morning at the table. He would read the lesson for the day and we'd all hold hands and pray. There possibly would be tears from Grandpa if the lesson was particularly touching to him. He was, as my husband describes, a leaker. His heart was so soft, and he was such a grateful Child of the King that often he would be a little overcome by God's goodness. What an example. Sometimes I would feel a little impatient over having to have worship before digging in to Grandma's yummy breakfast, but nothing got in the way of that worship.
We also got to play with Grandma's ever growing pile of stuffed animals when we stayed over. She had a room decorated just so, everything in Grandma's house was just so. And my sister and I got to stay in the twin beds. I always felt so safe at Grandma's house.
I could go on for hours about the things I loved about my Grandparents. They are both gone now, and I'm not quite used to it.
I had the supreme privilege of being with Grandma as she passed into rest. By that time, the hospice nurses with their hourly narcotics had done their job, and Grandma was mostly comfortable. We were able to help her into the "completely comfortable" range, and settled in to be close to her as she breathed her last breaths. My Mama, sister, brother, and I were there. We crowded in to be right by her bedside. One of us holding her hand and stroking her arm at all times. One of us sitting in her wheelchair, the other perched on her walker with the seat embedded, another in a chair brought in by the staff, and the other sitting in Grandma's recliner.
Together we sang her favorite songs, we laughed at our favorite memories. We kissed her face and forehead and smoothed her hair. We talked about how she was always collecting gifts all through the year to bestow on her loved ones at Christmas. And how at that very moment, she had a drawer full of little stuffed animals that she had won at bingo, waiting to be handed out this year for her favorite holiday. It was a time of deep sorrow, but also gratitude that we had gotten to enjoy her for so many years. God was so good to us during this time. He gave us some time together, but he arranged for the whole extended family along with Grandma's very best friend since the age of 16 to be in the room as she took her last breath. She was loved. She heard us. She felt us. She knew.
It's my belief that we will see Grandma really soon. Until then, we have sadness that ebbs and flows. We miss her. But I'm glad she won't be in pain any longer. She lived a long, gracious, humor-filled life. She blessed so many people.
Today my family is honoring my Grandma again. Today is her birthday. Oh how she loved celebrations! Celebrations were a reason to have root beer and peppermint ice cream, even better if it was homemade! We are sending a text message thread around to each other about our precious matriarch. I'm looking forward to giving my Mama a huge hug or twenty over the holidays. I can't imagine how she and her brothers feel about their first holiday season without their Mama. There's not a day that goes by that we don't think of her and miss her.
I need to wrap this up, a few Starbucks patrons are eyeing me without eyeing me as I sit here and pretend I have something stuck in my eye.
Loss doesn't always last forever. Sometimes the person physically is gone. But the memories, and the way they made you feel lives on. Time allows the intensity of sorrow to gently fade, but the memories and those feelings of being loved by that person remain as strong and clear as ever. And that's a very comforting thing.
Make it a great day!!
Oh that it were so easy with all kinds of loss. I recently lost my 95 year old Grandma. Now this woman was not just any kind of Grandma. She LOVED being MY Grandma. I remember while growing up she had a special end table that was filled with all sorts of fun things to do. A jar of pennies. A muffin tin. A container of buttons. Puzzles. Books. Blocks. That little tupperware bus that picked up different shaped blocks when you drove over them. My Grandma and Grandpa lived about 2 blocks away from us when I was about 5. So much fun!! We didn't have a TV, but they did. If we got all our chores done, the three of us kids could walk over to their house and watch Walt Disney on Sunday nights, Little House on Mondays, and The Walton's on Thursdays. When my parents had to be out of town, us kids got to stay with Grandma and Grandpa. This was cause for excitement on so many levels! For starters, no meal was complete without JUICE. Yes. Grandma had little green glasses that were carefully set at each place for meals. And in the morning we got orange juice! And a little pot of jam for our toast. Grandma's table was crammed full of little pots of nuts, raisins, all manner of delicacies!
Also, Grandpa would have worship every morning at the table. He would read the lesson for the day and we'd all hold hands and pray. There possibly would be tears from Grandpa if the lesson was particularly touching to him. He was, as my husband describes, a leaker. His heart was so soft, and he was such a grateful Child of the King that often he would be a little overcome by God's goodness. What an example. Sometimes I would feel a little impatient over having to have worship before digging in to Grandma's yummy breakfast, but nothing got in the way of that worship.
We also got to play with Grandma's ever growing pile of stuffed animals when we stayed over. She had a room decorated just so, everything in Grandma's house was just so. And my sister and I got to stay in the twin beds. I always felt so safe at Grandma's house.
I could go on for hours about the things I loved about my Grandparents. They are both gone now, and I'm not quite used to it.
I had the supreme privilege of being with Grandma as she passed into rest. By that time, the hospice nurses with their hourly narcotics had done their job, and Grandma was mostly comfortable. We were able to help her into the "completely comfortable" range, and settled in to be close to her as she breathed her last breaths. My Mama, sister, brother, and I were there. We crowded in to be right by her bedside. One of us holding her hand and stroking her arm at all times. One of us sitting in her wheelchair, the other perched on her walker with the seat embedded, another in a chair brought in by the staff, and the other sitting in Grandma's recliner.
Together we sang her favorite songs, we laughed at our favorite memories. We kissed her face and forehead and smoothed her hair. We talked about how she was always collecting gifts all through the year to bestow on her loved ones at Christmas. And how at that very moment, she had a drawer full of little stuffed animals that she had won at bingo, waiting to be handed out this year for her favorite holiday. It was a time of deep sorrow, but also gratitude that we had gotten to enjoy her for so many years. God was so good to us during this time. He gave us some time together, but he arranged for the whole extended family along with Grandma's very best friend since the age of 16 to be in the room as she took her last breath. She was loved. She heard us. She felt us. She knew.
It's my belief that we will see Grandma really soon. Until then, we have sadness that ebbs and flows. We miss her. But I'm glad she won't be in pain any longer. She lived a long, gracious, humor-filled life. She blessed so many people.
Today my family is honoring my Grandma again. Today is her birthday. Oh how she loved celebrations! Celebrations were a reason to have root beer and peppermint ice cream, even better if it was homemade! We are sending a text message thread around to each other about our precious matriarch. I'm looking forward to giving my Mama a huge hug or twenty over the holidays. I can't imagine how she and her brothers feel about their first holiday season without their Mama. There's not a day that goes by that we don't think of her and miss her.
I need to wrap this up, a few Starbucks patrons are eyeing me without eyeing me as I sit here and pretend I have something stuck in my eye.
Loss doesn't always last forever. Sometimes the person physically is gone. But the memories, and the way they made you feel lives on. Time allows the intensity of sorrow to gently fade, but the memories and those feelings of being loved by that person remain as strong and clear as ever. And that's a very comforting thing.
Make it a great day!!
Comments
Post a Comment